Just Tell Me What To Do!

A Counseling Misconception

One big misconception about counseling is that it is mainly about getting advice about a current life situation, hearing a counselor's opinion about you or your specific set of circumstances, being told exactly what to do, and/or getting an answering about what is the "right" or "wrong" decision.

When people ask directly for their counselor's advice, part of what they want is relief from uncertainty, to not feel paralyzed by indecision, to take the pressure off themselves and have someone just tell them what to do! While the idea of getting advice from your counselor may appear to temporary relieve your anxiety in the moment, it won't last.

The Counseling Process

Part of the growth and change that occurs when you enter into the counseling process is learning to tolerate life uncertainties, becoming more comfortable with ambiguity, being able to sit with your thoughts and emotions even when it is uncomfortable, reflecting on your choices and anticipating the possible consequences of your actions. In the long run, learning THIS is what decreases your anxiety, not receiving advice from your counselor!

After all, we are just imperfect human beings who happen to be trained to help you better understand your emotional patterns and tendencies, explore the pain and deep desires of your heart, and allow you to take responsibility for your own life. This deeply meaningful and life changing work is the tough and beautiful stuff you may not realize you are signing up for when you decide to go to counseling!

Advice is Not the Solution

In the end, getting advice from your counselor is the not the solution to your problems... learning how to actually work through the big life decisions you are facing in a way that can be replicated in every area of your life, for the rest of your life, is!